Wednesday April 16, 2008

I haven't been on here in forever because I have not been doing so well with my eating. I don't like to talk about gaining weight so that is why I haven't posted. Since my last fill a little over a month ago I got down to a "solid" 224 and now I am at 233. Like WTF is wrong with me? Since my last fill I have been out of town where we ate out instead of cooking like we normally do, my husband has had his birthday and we had two get togethers for that so of course there was lots of good food at both and I haven't gotten back on track since then. I have stretched my band to it's limits this time and I have to stop ASAP. I am going for a fill in the morning and I will do nothing but shakes for atleast 5 days straight. I am going to start walking again because this is my gotdamn life, my husband and I shelled out $17,000 for this gotdamn surgery and I refuse to allow myself to sabatoge (sp?) my weight loss anymore. I want to lose weight so damn bad yet I continually turn to food. UGH. Anyway, I remember being so much happier with myself when I was thinner which made me happier with life. I cannot wait until tomorrow.