Monday June 23, 2008

I am a little happier today than the last time I posted. I am getting a fill today and I cannot wait to not be able to eat! I know that is crazy but it's so true. I need the restriction so badly right now. I am hoping to lose down to atleast 215 (minimum) by August 24th 2008. I have only drank a home made smoothie so far today because I cannot eat before my fill. I hope I do well! Wish me luck :-P

Sunday June 8, 2007

I haven't been on here in a couple months and it is the same reason as before. It is because I have been doing TERRIBLE on my eating. I am back to 236.5. I have no idea what I need to do. I wish I has someone who was strong willed who could help me and I could possibly help them. I am so sick of being obese yet I continue to keep myself here, in this unhealthy state. I really wish I could have lost 100 lbs by my 1 yr surgery anniversary but I will be lucky to make it back to 50 lbs lost. I need to get a fill ASAP. I really wanted to be under 200 by August 24th but there is no way in hell that is going to happen. Anyway, I am going to try to get out of this rut and help myself. Sorry for blabbing about nothing but I am feeling extremely depressed right now.

Wednesday April 16, 2008

I haven't been on here in forever because I have not been doing so well with my eating. I don't like to talk about gaining weight so that is why I haven't posted. Since my last fill a little over a month ago I got down to a "solid" 224 and now I am at 233. Like WTF is wrong with me? Since my last fill I have been out of town where we ate out instead of cooking like we normally do, my husband has had his birthday and we had two get togethers for that so of course there was lots of good food at both and I haven't gotten back on track since then. I have stretched my band to it's limits this time and I have to stop ASAP. I am going for a fill in the morning and I will do nothing but shakes for atleast 5 days straight. I am going to start walking again because this is my gotdamn life, my husband and I shelled out $17,000 for this gotdamn surgery and I refuse to allow myself to sabatoge (sp?) my weight loss anymore. I want to lose weight so damn bad yet I continually turn to food. UGH. Anyway, I remember being so much happier with myself when I was thinner which made me happier with life. I cannot wait until tomorrow.

Wednesday March 26, 2008

Chris (my husband) and I have worked out two days in a row. I feel like such a obese cow right now. I don't know why, I should be feeling good. I know I shouldn't but I weigh myself through out the day and of course I gain weight due to all the water I drink and whatever else I consume and it makes me get all down and discouraged. I need to stop that BS and just weigh in the mornings. I cannot wait to be at 200 lbs!! I know I need to take it one lb at a time but when I reach 200 I can comfortably fit into ALL of my old jeans. That is where I left off at weight watchers. I went from 275 lbs to 190 and then gained it all back. I am hoping with the band I will never see 200 lbs again (once it is gone of course), even when I am pregnant. I did weigh 220 last week but I was sick so once I started eating again I came back to my normal 224. My goal was to weigh 220 (firm) by 3-31-08. I am going to work hard to achieve it!!

Monday March 24, 2008

Well, I haven't kept up with this blogging as well as I had hoped. I did horrible the last couple days due to poor choices at the family gatherings over the Easter weekend. UGH... but today I have gotten back on track by eating (drinking rather) nothing but smoothies. They are really filling and delicious. I have also gotten back to drinking my 64 oz + of H2O. I think you are supposed to drink half your weight in ounces so I need to step that up as well. Anyway, we had a wonderful Easter holiday aside from me gaining 50 lbs. Chris and I are going out of town this coming weekend to one of the resorts for a mini vacation. I cannot wait. We don't typically eat out, instead we cook at the resort so food shouldn't be an issue. I hope the weather is nice so we can get some long walks in. Until then, it's smoothies and school and hopefully me getting off my F@T @$$ and walking.

Thursday March 20, 2008

I was banded on 8-24-07. I have lost about 53.5 lbs so far. I should have lost a lot more by now but I have just recently started exersicing! I am currently at 220 and cannot wait to get under 200. I am hoping to amp up my almost non existing work out routine and reach that goal by the middle/end of May. I was having an incredibly difficult time sticking to 900 calories that I am supposed to be eating each day. I think I was eating closer to 1200 and on really bad days 1400 but after my last fill which was on 2-29-08 I have started eating smoothies more and more and I have dropped 16.5 lbs. My husband bought me the magic bullet which works wonderfully and it really helps with portion control. I make my slim fast shakes in the bullet and I also make fresh fruit smoothies that taste delicious. I will get around to posting some of the recipes. Well, I better get off here but I will try to write more soon.